Farewell

When you break the last part of what was left, you can’t expect on anything else than just the end. You are right, this wasn’t only a war declaration, it was THE WAR.
I can actually feel that disappointment from here, even if it’s hard to believe that. It’s palpable. Yes, you should never say never, but I think this time it’s a „Never” indeed. And I am really sorry for that. I never wanted all of that to end this way. I never wanted an end, but especially not one like this. Even if I’m conscious that you can’t have a nice end… I guess I just hoped we would always be friends. Despite everything, despite all that history. I guess I just wasn’t realistic. I was a dreamer, from the beginning to the end. And now all the dreams are gone. I’m just not allowed to dream at all.
I still don’t know how I will manage to go on, knowing that I caused all this, that it’s all my fault. I will never forgive myself. Even if I know that there wasn’t much left…we still could have kept in touch. But not now, not after all that happened.
I just wish I could erase that stain from you’re head. I can’t get over the thought that that’s all you will think when you will remember me. I wish I could search you, in some years. But I don’t think that’s possible at all. I am and will always be now the black sheep. Too bad for me…
I would like to thank you for the last minutes of hearing you playing the guitar. I will miss that a lot. I will miss everything, anyway…
Farewell…

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